And I Admit I Was Wrong

Well, there's not too much left for me to say regarding my pre-season prediction that the Royals would be a .500 team. It was wrong, disgraceful, incredibly optimistic, and potentially deranged thinking. I can admit that. And I will not even point to injuries as the cause of this destruction, because that would be what us fans refer to as a COPOUT. Instead, I will attempt to paint the Royals season through a series of brutal statistics that will illicit either tears of rage, uproarious laughter, or blatant disinterest, depending on your state of mind. Enjoy.

-Alex Gordon has 64 at-bats this season.
Total number of extra base hits: 1.
Total number of extra base-hits since 1st at-bat of the season: 0.
Yes, that's right. Alex Gordon has not recorded an extra base-hit since his first at-bat of the season. I understand that he only has 64 official at-bats, but that is actually 4 more than...

-Recently Designated For Assignment Ryan Freel, who was cut loose after a whopping 60 at-bats in a Royals uniform.
Number of extra base-hits with the Royals: 2.
Or in other words, with 4 less at-bats than Alex Gordon, Ryan Freel doubled his extra base-hit output. Just to hammer this point home, as if Gordon's Joey Gathright-like power numbers don't explain the whole story, consider the following:

Ryan Freel's line while with the Royals (AVG/OBP/SLG): .217/.319/.250

Alex Gordon's line with the Royals (AVG/OBP/SLG): .203/.329/.250

Ryan Freel's status with the Royals: DFA'd

Alex Gordon's status with the Royals: Savior


Listen, I don't want to rip on Alex Gordon here. I am an unabashed apologist for Gordon, and I still believe that he will blossom into a steady and productive regular who may make an All-Star game one day. But he is looking an awful lot like a replacement-level player right now, and these statistics show me more Joe Randa than Evan Longoria. Maybe expectations need to be lowered a little.

BONUS STATS

-David DeJesus has stolen 3 bases this season. He has been caught stealing a whopping 7 times. No one else on the team has been caught stealing more often than they've stolen a base.

-Joakim Soria has appeared in 29 games this year, and posted a 1.71 ERA. Lefty specialist John Bale has appeared in 30 games, with a 6.75 ERA.

-Royals relievers whose last names are not Soria are a combined 3-19 in save opportunities. I kid you not. Look it up.