There is Absolutely No Way This Can Get Worse

And so here we are. It's dark. It's depressing. I wouldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel with the Hubble telescope. The Royals have lost five straight games, three by the score of 12-5 (think about that), heading into the mericful off-day tonight. Gil Meche was tattooed Sunday at Kaufman stadium, giving up 9 earned runs in less than 4 innings of work. It was the worst start of his career, the kind of start you'd have nightmares about. Meche will likely check under his bed, in the basement, and the closet for Albert Pujols before falling asleep for some time.

Pujols TKO'd Gil Sunday on a monstrous, now orbiting home run with the bases loaded. It wasn't much of a shock. After all, Pujols is Pujols, and the Royals are The Royals. Meche could have thrown a 117 mph slider on the outside corner and it likely would have ended up lodged into the video board. Pujols is now 4-4 with three home runs and 14 RBI's with the bases loaded this year. I don't even have the heart to mention that he played his formative years at Kansas City's own Fort Osage High School and Maple Woods Community College.

What else is there to say about this team? Position players Jose Guillen, Alex Gordon, Coco Crisp, John Buck, Mike Aviles, and Tony Pena Jr. have all spent a significant amount of time on the DL. Pitchers Doug Waechter, Robinson Tejeda, Joakim Soria, John Bale, and Sidney Ponson have done the same. The offense is anemic, the bullpen provides little to no relief, and the fielding has been abysmal. There's only one more question left to ask: can things possibly get any worse?

I don't think so. First off, players are beginning to get healthy. Soria looks to be back in action. John Buck appears close to making his comeback from back spasms. Alex Gordon is only a couple of weeks away from returning after three months off with a torn hip muscle. Mike Aviles is resuming baseball activities this week. Coco Crisp, well Coco is pretty well screwed. But the rest of the guys could be back by the end of the All-Star break, and that can't be discounted: the returns of these players likely means demotions for cotton-soft hitters Luis Hernandez, Tony Pena Jr., and/or Tug Hulett. That in itself should win us 30-40 more games in the second half.

Also, Zack Greinke still leads the league in ERA, shutouts, and complete games. Moreover, he will have the chance to hit for the first time this year tomorrow night in Houston, which means a productive bat in the lineup to replace DH(Designated Hacker)/fielding black hole Mike Jacobs.

The Royals do lead the majors with an astounding 26 triples, a stat that can seem impressive, but also one that magnifies the team's frustrating propensity for hitting warning track fly balls.

There are several other untracked statistics which the team is likely excelling as well. Ones that I feel that Royals are around the league lead in include: 1. inherited runners scored- the bullpen has an incredible knack for allowing inherited runners to score before tightening things down when their runners are in scoring position. If you don't believe me on this one, ask Kyle Davies, Zack Greinke, and Sidney Ponson. 2. line drive outs- Tug Hulett alone had three of these in Sunday's drubbing to the Cardinals. Chances are if the Royals really need a hit, they will crush a laser right at the right fielder. What I wouldn't give to see that stat. 3. taking first base on strikeouts- Nothing more needs to be said than Miguel Olivo. I've seen Olivo advance to first twice on atrocious off-speed pitches either in the dirt, way outside, or in the dirt and way outside. I'd imagine that most teams have that happen maybe twice a season, but not the Royals. No, we have the Mighty Miguel Olivo.

So, yeah, things may look irreversible. And spirits may seem unliftable. And Trey Hillman may appear to be absolutely clueless, many times over, during the exhaustive season. But MLB history says that things cannot get any worse, that the Royals cannot get blown out in any more consecutive games without becoming terrible in an entirely original, historical sense. I don't think this team is that bad. Through it all, we can take solace in the fact that no matter how deep, and no matter how long, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you can't see it with the Hubble telescope.